2. Marriage!

This isn't cheating just because I listed my husband as number 1. The two blessings are joined but different. Jacob was a blessing before we were man and wife, and he will be a blessing when we are no longer man in wife in our lives to come (a very, very sorrowful thought).

The blessing of marriage is a gift from the Lord in so many glorious ways. Yesterday, I came across a timely article about this subject and I want to share it rather than trying to summarizing it (which would probably butcher a wonderfully written piece).

Marriage in God's Story by Phil Smidt

In the beginning

The story of God is one of Good News, and it begins with a wedding ceremony.

After God created the heavens and earth and filled it, he made the man and the woman, uniting them in marriage.

God created marriage for his purposes, not ours, as marriage belongs to him. He determined marriage as a sacred union on which he would build the foundation for establishing families and, ultimately, society and culture.

Marriage is

God defined marriage from the beginning: an intimate, covenant relationship between one man and one woman lasting a lifetime (Genesis 2:24, Proverbs 2:16-17, Malachi 2:14).

Biblically, Moses first characterized marriage: “Therefore (because of marriage – my emphasis) a man shall leave his father and his mother, hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). In the New Testament, both Jesus (Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:6–7) and Paul (Ephesians 5:32) affirm Moses and agree with God’s definition of marriage:

• It is exclusive (one man and his wife).
• It is not defined by temporal family ties but by permanent covenantal promises (leave father and mother).
• It is a lifetime commitment (hold fast).
• Intimacy (oneness) ensues (they become one flesh).

However, marriage was never meant as an end to itself.

As the story of God begins to unfold, he reveals his greater intention for marriage.

A covenant promise

God’s love for his people has always been steadfast and sure, and he holds fast to them in a permanent, exclusive, intimate, covenantal relationship.

Vows and promises are the basis for a covenant. On a wedding day, the bride and groom make vows to one another, promising to love each other solely for a lifetime, regardless of circumstances.

Throughout Scripture, there are numerous parallels drawn between the covenant promises of God and his chosen people and the covenant promises of a husband and wife in marriage. Specifically, God calls himself “husband” and his people, “bride” (Isaiah 54:5, 62:5, Jeremiah 2:2, Revelation 19:7, 21:2, 9, 22:17).

God is better at promises than we are

A problem has existed since Genesis 3 regarding the difference between God’s covenants and ours:

• God makes promises and keeps them.
• We make promises and break them.

When the people of God sin against him and chase after other gods, their sinful deeds are named ‘spiritual adultery’ and ‘whoredom’—strong language for sin, but an accurate description of the relationally destructive nature of our rebellion against a loving, trustworthy, and Holy God (Hosea, Jeremiah 3:6–21, 31:32, Ezekiel 23, Psalm 106:39).

We don’t sin in a vacuum. Someone is always, beginning with God, sinned against. But continually, a passionate, faithful God pursues and intervenes, providing payment for sin that is sufficient and everlasting for rebellious children who repent.

Jesus and marriage

Ephesians 5:23–32 reveals more of God’s plan for Christian marriage as it is written specifically to Spirit-filled husbands and wives (Ephesians 5:1,18): “This mystery is profound, and I am saying it refers to Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:32). The mystery refers to God’s plan of redemption for his church (his bride), collectively all who have received salvation through Christ’s atoning death on the cross.

This powerful image of Christ, and the church in general, also permeates the marriage of one man and one woman, specifically applying itself in the daily details of their life together. Without Jesus, it is impossible for the husband and wife to muster up enough strength, loving feelings, or good intentions to fulfill their biblical role and calling in marriage. But because of him, two sinful, completely different individuals can be miraculously transformed into one.

Roles of husband and wife defined by the cross

It is clear the Biblical roles of husband and wife are less about what the couple should do and more about what Jesus has done for them.

Christian wives can look to the cross and see Jesus who freely submitted himself to the will of the Father to die in her place (Ephesians 5:22–24). Her submissive response is not to be one of begrudging foot-dragging, competition with her husband, or a fearful power struggle, but joyful and purposeful, just like Christ’s attitude was for her (Hebrews 12:2).

Likewise, Christian husbands can look to the cross and see Jesus, who in love and humility laid his life aside to die for the man’s sin. Jesus then defeated death and rose to live for and lead the church, providing for its needs (Philippians 2:3–8). In the same way, Christ now calls husbands to die to themselves and live for and lead their wives and children in bringing attention and glory to God, not to rule as controlling tyrants or disappear as cowardly abdicators (Ephesians 5:25–30).

God’s vision for marriage

Spirit-filled married couples have the opportunity to know and accept each other deeply, as they learn that loving someone else isn’t natural, nor does it come easily. They get to love because Christ loves them (1 John 4:10–11). They don’t need to fear intimacy or confessing sin, they can walk in the freedom of faith and repentance. Since they have been graced and forgiven they can offer grace and forgiveness to each other. Because God has been kind to them, they can be kind to one another (Ephesians 4:32).

As helpful companions who see their spouse as a precious gift from God, together they get to face the blessings, trials, and unexpected surprises of life, saturate their children with Jesus, serve brothers and sisters in the church, and share the gospel with neighbors, extended families and co-workers. Just as Jesus continues to intentionally pursue and love them, they get to creatively pursue and love each other, building a God-honoring legacy as they grow old together.

Wedded bliss

The Bible ends with a wedding ceremony. In Revelation 19:6–9, the story of God culminates in Jesus bringing his Bride, the church, home to live with him permanently. Those who have trusted in Christ for salvation throughout history, whether anticipating his coming or looking back to when he came, will live with him forever.

The marriage supper of the Lamb proves that the covenant-keeping God honors his promises. That is your hope, and will always be the hope of the Bride of Christ.

For someone like me who was raised in a home ruled by a tyrannical and frightening, abusive man such as my father, seeing God as anything other than a much larger version of my earthly father seems like an insurmountable obstacle. An intimate, steady, trusting relationship with God has always eluded me and through no fault of the Father's! I've always found it effortless to believe the Father of Lies rather than my loving Creator. Doubt and insecurity dog nearly every step.

After reading this article yesterday, I felt as though a veil had been removed from my eyes. While I spent my day meditating on the blessing that is my husband in conjunction with thinking about this article, I had a "Holy Ah Ha! moment."

God is showing me who He really is through the blessing of marriage to a Godly man. The Father is teaching me to look at my husbands sacrificial love rather than backward at my terrifying childhood to see a model of His love for me. I am God's daughter and He has lovingly entrusted me to a man who loves Jesus and seeks the will of God for our joined lives. Just as we have been joined in the unbreakable covenant of marriage, so I have been joined with Christ in the eternal new covenant of His salvation. Earthly fathers walk out, but God does not. He has never broken His promise and I can rest in the fact He never will.

Thank You, Father! My resolve my falter, but You will not. Thank You for redeeming my defiled view of You. Thank You for adopting me as Your daughter and entrusting me in this beautiful covenant to a man who loves You. Help me to grow deeper and more secure in this sanctified view of who You are every day, by Your goodness and grace!