3. My daughters

Later, I will write about each one of my precious daughters in detail. For now, I want t0 meditate on God's bountiful blessing in the form of 3 lovely little girls.

I believe we are God's children and He is a perfectly patient, unconditionally

loving Father. This means my daughters are really His daughters and this thought gives me pause. Why would God trust me/bless me with 3 of His beloved daughters?

Father, You have been teaching me so very much about Your love, Your patience, Your forgiveness through these beautiful darlings. I've never understood how You could love such a disgusting sinner like me, but You are showing me small glimpses of what Your love must be like through my love for Israel, Helen and Zarah.

When they are happy, giggling, smiling little girls, my heart is filled to overflowing with joy. When they are sick and covered in throw-up or diarrhea, crying from confusion and pain, my heart is filled with compassion, pity, grief and totally focused concern on returning them to health. Even covered in the filth of sickness, I clutch them to my chest, kiss their cheeks, stroke their heads and sing songs in their ears to soothe their discomfort.

When they are pleasant and obedient, I am filled with peace. When they are wretched, defiant, self-centered sinners, I grieve over their sin but am astounded to find that my deep love for them hasn't budged an inch. Their sin hurts my heart, to be sure, but I love them none the less. How much more You must love me, God!

Thank You, Father, for this small glimpse at what Your love for me must be like. No matter how intense and deeply rooted my love for the girls is, Your love for them and for me is infinitely deeper, infinitely stronger. Nothing can separate me from Your love, just like Your Word promises. I am so grateful.

I'm also grateful for this wild ride of motherhood. It's not where I would have put myself. I have been filled with despair and discontentment when I have raged against Your plans for my life. My pathetic attempts to control this life You have given me, and thus my deeper attempts to control You, have left me frustrated and angry. But when I have repented of my selfishness and turned control over to You, You have faithfully blessed my repentence and filled my heart with joy, purpose, peace and fulfillment.

Mothering 3 lovely (and at times, emotionally volatile) girls under 3 years old makes Everest seem little more than a mole hill. I wouldn't trade it for anything! Oh the depth of the riches I have in this blessing. I have only begun to understand.