6 am and a cup of tea

This morning, Jake went back to the grindstone. Coal plants. Yuck.

Since I was up making his food before he left for work, I decided to make a cup of tea and have some quiet time with Zarah before the dynamic duo awoke at 7. This quiet time with Z ended up as quiet time with J...Jesus, that is.

I am so very guilty of not praying nearly enough (but can one ever pray "enough"?). Most of my prayer is in the form of an arrow and shot up only in times of desperation. So dumb, I know. And yet, I resist the change. For some reason I think I have to be on my best pharisaical behavior before I can talk to my Father. Again, so dumb. I have a knack for completely missing the gifts of grace. It's my bent as a Pharisee to twist amazing grace into the filthy rags of self-righteous good works.

Aaaanyway, I'm going to blame the Holy Spirit for this, but something was pushing me to sit in the dark and the quiet and just talk to God. I didn't even feed Z on time this morning (shock and horror for breaking the sacred schedule!). I just sat. Talking. To God, no less.

To my amazement, I think Jesus met me there in the stillness. Different people and needs kept coming to mind and I just talked to the Lord about anything and everything for about 10 minutes. Big whoop, right? !!10 minutes!!

That's pretty long for me. And I actually want to do it again tomorrow. I enjoyed asking God to meet these different needs that I am powerless to provide. I enjoyed seeking His grace on my life, my daughters' lives, my dear husband and other people around us.

After praying, I nursed my sweet Zarah and opened the email while sipping on some good ole black Irish. It just so happened, ahem, that I received an email update from Desiring God (the ministry of John Piper).

"I'm already on a role this morning! I'll listen to a sermon on top of praying and then I'll be really good for God. Dammit. I hate my self-righteousness. Wait, did I just curse, too? Crap. Please forgive me, Father. Ok...moving forward. (sigh)"

This was the sermon:

For Judgement I Came into This World on Desiring God

Another gift of grace, dropped in my lap - or email box. Whichever you prefer. Just last weekend I asked Dad in passing, "So, why does Jesus talk in riddles? I don't get all the passages that talk about His desire that none would perish and how they stand up to passages that talk about him leaving people without understanding. Like, when the Bible says, 'He said this so they would not understand.' Can you help me out?"

Dad, "I sure wish I could. I don't really know either."

Frustrating, because Dad knows a lot about his Bible. But God heard my question and sent me an answer in a (humanly) timely fashion. How stinking rare! God rarely, if ever gives me what I'm wanting, but He always manages to give me what I'm needing. So cool.