Still chewing on yesterday.

Cuddling with Z in a house full of silence, but for the occasional crash of thunder.

I've been chewing on yesterday like a piece of over cooked steak.

Seriously, Jesus. What does it mean to fall in love with You? To be swallowed up, consumed, real, true, full of the love of God?

What does it mean to really say, "Gain!" when I look death in the face with the promise of Christ?

How could I ever love anyone like Paul talked about? To wish to be cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers and sisters who are lost? I can't fathom that kind of love.

I'm terrified. I'm full of ecstacy. At the thought of being wholly consumed by You.

Nope. I'm terrified.

Nope. I'm dying for it.

I don't want to be religious. I want to be Yours. I don't want a list of do's and don't's. I need a relationship. I need to know God. I need to be known by God. I need the love of Christ.